I wrote the most depressing Tumblr I think I have ever written in a manic rush of tears. Then I accidentally pressed a button and deleted it all. I guess it was a sign. Maybe there were a lot of things I didnt mean in there. Or maybe It was a sign that I shouldnt be letting you all know just how fucked up I really am.
Philippa Rice’s comic Soppy can be bought here for £4
‘Cuddling on the sofa’ risograph prints can be bought here for £7
Follow Philippa Rice on Tumblr
I’ve never before seen my relationship drawn into a comic ;)
SweetnessPretty much
This is perfect I want this ;-;
i had three copies of this~
i love that this is like my relationship <3
(via sacred-tears)
Stuck in a rut
Tumblr used to be my release. The place where I could let out all my frustrations with life but Ive tried to stay away from it, tried to be independent but the sad truth is maybe I need tumblr.
So for a while now Ive had this feeling and I cant explain it. Often I feel on the verge of tears. As fragile as as a leaf. As though in any given second I could break down. I get choked up for seemingly no reason and my throat starts to hurt. Tears threaten to spill but I fight them back, as I am now.
I am insecure with myself and with others but mainly with myself. I dont feel good. I dont feel healthy. I dont feel attractive. There are so many things about my physical appearance I would like to change but I suppose thats everyone right? I look in the mirror most days and look away disgusted. Why? Where have these feelings come from? I couldnt tell you.
I am lost. Lost in life. What am I doing? Where am I headed? Does any of this even matter? Constantly struggling with money. I suppose every student struggles? Well my struggling has been prolonged and Im getting deeper and deeper into debt. Just when I thought things were getting better with this job I lost it so im back where I started. Its not even like I abuse my money. I dont have a social life, and I havnt been on a shopping spree for a long time. Is this my path in life? Forever struggling. Im not even asking for everything to be perfect I just want things to be okay at least. Id be happy with that but as soon as something good comes its taken away from me or the joy of it is taken away by something bad happening. I wanted to save up for a small holiday, work hard and pay for it with my own money but no I cant even have that little bit of joy because I have no job.
I constantly wonder about the purpose to my life. I have no close friends near me. My family is weak and broken and Im constantly just trying to keep up. I dont want to live my life just surviving. I want to live. I want to experience it fully but thats just not in my reach. Im starting to think im just not meant to be happy.
I used to think I had a bright future ahead of me but now Im not so sure.
